Wednesday Wamblings

I felt a little Elmer Fudd-ish when I sat to white this, hence the post title.

So nothing of the creative bent thins evening. more of a reflection.

Its quickly turning to fall most everywhere, or most everywhere that is close to sea level, and not Canada. The time for cool evenings and conversations by the fire with those that matter to us the most. I sit here this evening reflecting on a more simple time, one where family was the second most important thing to most anyone that was asked. The debate for number one has raged for millennia and will continue on long after I have left this fine world. God or Money. I leave it at that.

The world we live is is chock full of disassociated family due to the job market, or this reason or that. I purposefully left my family home at 18 to see what the rest of the world held. That’s just me. In the decades I have been running around, I have seen more than I could ever describe in this forum. Thankfully not that much bad.

Many of us today pick what we choose to call our families. We find them in meeting halls, conference rooms, or the occasional bar. We are bound together by a common thread, the desire to belong. Though we may not choose to stay on the family estate or live in the same town as those that raised us, we still want something to belong to. We gather in churches, temples, coffee shops and book stores; each of us looking to connect.

The connection doesn’t have to be deep initially, let’s face it, not everyone is destined to be liked. But that connection is found in belief systems, favorite brews, or genres. We rally round the unfortunate when we take the time to notice their existence. We raise money for those in need. We belong, we have a cause.

I am fortunate to belong. I have connected, or so I choose to believe I have, and my life is better for it. The endless days of worrying about this or that, paying attention to only what matters to me have left me. To me, now, there is greater good for me when I take the time to focus my energy on something other than the overly active narcissist that lives in my head.

Thanks for reading, and allowing me to “connect”.

Namaste

 

Robert E

Torrential Tuesday

The last time I posted I wrote a lil’ prose about main character development using an interview technique.

The result came back that I didn’t like the way the guy was turning out. So, I now need to start again.

But before I do, let me tell ya’ll what I wanted him to be and how he was turning out.

I wanted a mysterious guy right, someone that seemed to be above the rules. That one special person that was free to act out in any way his twisted lil’ soul could imagine. What I got was a pompous ass that did nothing more than talk down to me.

I wanted a killer that killed because he liked it, one that was smart enough to get away with it because of his mental capacity to:

Not give a shit about the human condition

Know more than those that pursued him

Play a game of cat and mouse.

What showed up was this…  well…  thing that was hell bent on teaching me a lesson. He wanted to get all metaphysical on me, and even went so far as to bring his father to the interview. Yeah I know right… Like he’s 12 or some shit. Then the asshole introduces his dad as God. That was the end of my character. I didn’t type another word of the interview.

It’s not all the characters fault though, I had been toying with a couple ideas based on some reading I had done about a decade ago. Right now isn’t the time for me to write that guy though, as I don’t fully understand the story I was trying to tell with him. It’s still there and I may bring him back to the front, only at a later time.

There are a hell of a lot of words there to get to this simple morale. Try out a lot of ideas, mash-up a bunch of shit you’ve collected through the years of your experience. Sooner or later you will catch a thread that is worth pulling on and one that gets more interesting the more words you add to it.

At least I hope so.

So for now, happy writing, and much love… 

Namaste,

 

Robert E

Can you say WTF?

So, at the encouragement of Carolina Valdez Miller, I sat down last night in an effort to get to know my new main character by conducting an interview. A few things I knew going into the interview was that he was a killer, and a stealthy one at that. What I didn’t expect was for him to be as smart as he turned out to be.

The interview took place in my hotel room, and the guy showed up with a friend. I know, right? Just walked through the door and expected me to have a place for this other dude to sit. So we start the interview and I ask the MC to introduce his friend and he declines.

I’m thinking to myself as I sat there trying to type both sides of the interview, that I had completely lost my friggin’ mind. Here I was creating a character that I couldn’t control.

The MC tells me that his friends identity will be revealed by the end of the interview, and I decided the best thing to do was roll with it. I settled into the far more menial questions of age, ethnicity, etc. And the guy wigs on me. Tells me his age is not important, then starts referencing some shit about the Pharaohs.

I have to tell you, it’s been one hell of a long time since I did any hallucinogens, or mind altering chemical of any kind, but I swear to you I was trippin’.

I never made it through the entire interview because I was a little freaked. I am hopeful that I am able to draw his ass in tonight and get a little closer to what makes him tick.

Wish me luck!!!

Namaste

 

Robert E

It’s been awhile

Life throws us all little twists and turns, ups and downs, highs and lows. Nothing could be more true in my opinion than those few simple words.

Others have said that nothing is constant, except that is, change. And this year has had more than a few changes, far too many to count or document here.

After a hiatus, deserved or otherwise, I am beginning again to bubble with potential prose. Those that honored me by reading Dream State may or may not be happy to hear that. (yes folks, that’s humor) However, the humble beginnings of a premise are coming together. It’s far too early to let the cat out of the bag, but a few things I can share.

It’s about a killer (I know, no surprise there)

The back story is longer, deeper, and more disturbing than I have seen in the past (Though I am not that well read)

The core characters will be fleshed out first rather than allowing them to develop as the story builds (Hopefully this will allow me to just tell the story once I know what the characters are made of)

There is a bit of religious symbolism and rhetoric (I feel it’s a fun playground)

One of the few things that has not changed in the last year is my admiration I feel toward all of the people in my life that encourage my creative bent. Thank you all for being there and sending your warm comments and well wishes.

Take care all. Let the newest journey begin.

Robert E

The emotional trap of self publishing

I remember back to the day that i was accepted by my publisher and grin. The excitement of the moment was a wonderful feeling, then reality set in. I had absolutely no idea what to expect and approached each one of the task i was assigned by my publisher with glee and wonder. What I didn’t expect was how addictive all of it became.

I was told to market, to establish an online presence, create a blog, yada yada. For me, each one of those tasks took on a life of their own, I became overly concerned with collecting followers on Twitter, writing blog posts, finding ways to automate posts, and more yada yada.  My whole existence became about the presence I was told to establish. The thrill of my work being in the public eye was gone. In short it was all about the marketing, the creation of the author persona, the peddling of my wares to a world I didn’t know.

The tasks my publisher requested I perform all made sense, and were the right things to do to make money selling my compilation of words to an unsuspecting readerdom. I went out into that world expecting to end up being the very next Stephen King. What happened along the way was completely unexpected.

I became obsessed with keeping in touch with the people I had connected with via the world of micro-blogging. The book no longer mattered, what mattered to me more than anything else was showing the world what a great, caring, and wonderful guy I wanted to be. I became overly active in seeking validation from people I had never met. My TweetDeck application ran 18 hours a day, and I started skipping out on family functions because I was afraid I would miss that one Tweet of the day that would make me feel good about myself. The obsession with external validation nearly drove me insane.

And all this happened in a short 4 month span of time.

Today is not the same. Today the creation of Dream State has to stand on its own, it has to be good enough by itself without my being overly concerned with whether people get it or not. Today, I have some one that manages and secures all those things for me that need be accomplished to get the word out. Today, I rarely use Twitter.

Today I am again comfortable with me, warts, bumps and all.

I hope that some one out there can identify with my tale, and find some solace in knowing they are not the only one feeling the feelings they have.

Namaste,

Robert

Mothers Day – A perspective

It’s officially that time of year, the day when all of America is “supposed” to honor our mothers. I like the concept, that one special day where Mom is supposed to be exalted, pampered, and sometimes just left alone.

Mom’s are special creatures, universal in their actions, whether a member of the human race or the animal kingdom, there is a an inbred need for them to protect. Mom’s of the human variety play so many different roles in the play of life that often it is hard to discern who she really is. Early on she is the provider of nourishment, providing for her child of herself. She transitions into the first educator most of us know, teaching us effective boundaries intended to keep us safe.

Through the course of her tenure as a Mom, she will move in and out of educator, cook, nurse, doctor, therapist, counselor, friend, confidante, disciplinarian, cleaner, laundress, mender, maid, and financier. She often accomplishes being all those in a single day, and we fathers, boyfriends, lovers, and friends often wonder why she gets bitchy. If most of the male gender were to attempt that many character shifts in a single day our heads would explode. We would wind up laying in the fetal position, sucking out thumbs, crying out for who else, that’s right, Mommy. 

Mom’s have this running plan in their head, some rely on paper to keep it all straight. Make no mistake about it though, regardless of how she does it, she is the consummate planner of the world in which she resides. There are the schools, banks, doctors, and specialists. The meals, laundry, cleaning, stories, and baths. Don’t forget the recitals, practices, games, and birthdays. She accomplishes all this and most of the time holds a job, as well as her own network of friends.

Absolutely amazing that we haven’t yet legislated that one day a week be dedicated as  mom’s day off. When I stop to consider all the things my child’s mother accomplishes in the course of a single day, I stand in awe.

So for all you Mom’s out there, this father’s hat is off to each and every one of you. I applaud your strength, courage, stamina, and ability.

Happy Mothers Day.

Namaste,

 

Robert

New Reviews Posted

Good afternoon all. I hope you are all safe and secure as you grab all the life there is to grab.

I wanted to take a moment to thank the following two sites that took the time to conduct reviews for Dream State. The Geeky Book Worm and Coffee Time Romance. I enjoyed both of the reviews and thank the authors for their time and effort, it is very much appreciated.

The reviews can be found at:

http://thegeekybookworm.blogspot.com/2010/01/guest-review-dream-state-by-robert-e.html

and

http://www.coffeetimeromance.com/BookReviews/dreamstate.html

Thanks again and Happy Reading.

Namaste,

Robert

January 24, 2010

Darkness closed in from the walls of the sunny room I sat in. A sickening sweet blanket of creamy fog so thick it was impenetrable. Gone from my thought were the joys of my youth: the fun of discovery, the next great adventure. Pure nothingness replaced all the good from my life.

I had sunken down into a pit of complete defeat where life itself held no meaning. I had thoughts of dying as it would have been easier than to continue to trudge through the lake of waist deep mud with my concrete block shoes.

Unlike many of the other dark stories I have written in the past, this one is true. The feelings from that day are still fresh in my mind, where I hope they stay.

The next time, I may not be so lucky.

Namaste,

Robert E.

Recent Absence

Good Evening.

I have been away from the blog and other online communities for nearly a month and will continue to be sparse for the foreseeable future. When the time is right for me I will begin to tell the story of my absence, please be patient.

Please know I have missed the banter, and the overwhelming acceptance shown to me by you all.

Thanks.

Namaste.

 

Robert E

Absence Tuesday/Wednesday

Just wanted to let every one know I will be out of the HO (Home Office perverts) Tuesday and Wednesday this week.

I am finally getting rid of the Jimmy Durante nose, but should be back with all you lovely people Thursday morning.

If I do by chance stop by those two days, be warned, I will be heavily medicated, so anything that gets typed cannot be held against me in a court of law or public opinion.

Love to you all.

Namaste

 

Robert E