Lies

Tears run down,
From swollen eyes,
Across my face,
I finally see the devastation of my lies.

The lies I have told,
To make me feel sane,
To salve my tattered ego,
I feel I must explain.

Explanation for me,
And not for you,
I must bear my soul,
To again reach the blue.

I have said I am not worthy,
Not deserving of your gifts,
My self imposed crisis,
Has caused us many rifts.

My actions it seems,
Affect more than just me,
My anger and fear,
Keep me from being free.

Free to Love,
Free to hold on,
Free to cherish,
Prevent me from being strong.

The blue that I seek,
Is my connection to you,
That perfect dancing flame,
Cannot be misconstrued.

I will tell me the truth,
Regardless of the pain,
My mind wants to fight me,
As I struggle to stay sane.

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